China
Guatemala
Russia
Vietnam
Brazil
India
Ethiopia
Our story begins like many other couples'.
After four years of infertility treatments with no results, we grew increasingly
frustrated and upset. We knew more than anything that we wanted to be parents.
We always knew adoption was an option, but we didn't really think about it
until we met another couple at a party. They had a beautiful son whom they
adopted from Guatemala. Fortunately for us, they didn't mind answering our
questions, and that's how we found out about FTIA.
The next day, I made a call to FTIA and they forwarded us information. We then found out they were having an informational meeting in Indianapolis. We attended the meeting and were encouraged when they told us that if we wanted a child, we could have a child. That was all the motivation we needed to hear. We signed the application for FTIA on March 21, 2002, to adopt a child from Russia.
Shortly after submitting our application, we received the dossier guide. I have to admit I was daunted when I saw all the paperwork required, but I took it one step at a time. The dossier wasn't too bad to complete, but it wasn't completely smooth sailing either. You just need to remain calm, organized, and sometimes adamant to make sure everything gets done and done correctly.
FTIA received our completed dossier on July 5, 2002, and we then
began the wait for a referral. We were told to expect a three- to four- month
wait. We did not specify gender, so we hoped our wait wouldn't be too long.
Our dossier was originally submitted to Rostov. However, things had slowed down
dramatically in Rostov, so FTIA began to open up other regions. They called and
asked us if we would consider other regions. We just wanted a child as soon as
possible, so we didn't care what region. So our dossier was moved from Rostov
to Ekaterinburg.
On October 24, 2002, we got our call. We would leave for our first trip to Russia on November 2, 2002. The mad dash began. We had to pack, make travel arrangements, and get ready for one of the biggest trips of our lives.
It took three planes and 15 hours, but we arrived in Ekaterinburg on November 4, 2002. We traveled with 3 other couples also using FTIA. On November 5th, we all headed to the Ministry of Education to get our referrals. The meeting with the Ministry of Education only lasted about 5 minutes. We sat in a room and two women told us in Russian, translated to us by our interpreter, that they found a child for us that met our requirements. They also told us her name was Anastasia, she was 9 months old, and she was in Baby Home #1. We were now eager with anticipation, because we knew the next stop would be the orphanage.
At the orphanage, we were taken to a visitor's room, where we
waited to meet our daughter. The minutes seemed like hours. Finally, they
brought her in. She was this robust blonde-haired, blue-eyed girl. We couldn't
have been more thrilled. We knew the moment we met her, there was no doubt she
was meant for us.
We obtained her medical information and contacted Dr. Conway in Indianapolis to give us his medical opinion. He only had minor concerns about her health. Of course she had the standard scary sounding Russian medical diagnoses, but Dr. Conway wasn't concerned about them. He put her in a moderate to low risk group. We accepted Anastasia as our referral and decided to change her name to Anna.
We arrived back home on November 9th. Our first trip was a whirlwind. It was emotional, exhausting, and exciting all at the same time. Now, we would have to begin the long wait to go on our second trip. We were told to expect between 8-12 weeks between trips because of the holidays. However, our wait turned out to be 17 weeks. It was grueling and frustrating. We also had to do paperwork two more times while waiting. Finally, on February 4, 2003, we received notice our court date would be March 11, 2003. Ugh, that was over a month away, but at least we had a date, so we knew that we would soon have our daughter home.
On March 8th, we left for our second trip to Russia. We traveled with one other couple this time. One of the same couples we had traveled with on our first trip. The night before our court appearance we were given a list of questions that the judge normally asks. Although understandably nervous, we entered the courtroom feeling prepared. The judge questioned us for about 20 minutes. There was nothing he asked that we did not expect. He was very serious until he asked if we had any experience parenting. When we replied that we had a 3-year-old niece for whom we had babysat quite often, he laughed and said, "So you train on her." We all laughed and it lightened the mood. After the questioning, the judge went into his chamber to rule. It reminded me of People's Court. In about 5 minutes he came back in and granted our adoption. However, he did not waive our ten-day waiting period which we also expected. We had asked him to waive our ten days because of the impending war with Iraq. He stated he could not waive the waiting period based on something that might happen.
I have to admit, the 10 days were long, but if our waiting period had been waived, we would not have gotten to experience what we did. Since we had time, we were able to go the ballet, the circus, the zoo, the monument dividing Europe and Asia, and do some shopping. Unfortunately, on our ninth day, the war with Iraq began. Our housekeeper came out and told us, "bad news" and turned on the TV. Even though the announcers were speaking Russian, it was obvious to see the bombing had begun. We were very nervous and scared, especially since we knew Russia opposed the war. Fortunately, everything went as expected and we did not encounter any trouble.
Our tenth day was up on a Friday and we did not anticipate picking our daughter up until the following Monday. However, our coordinator was able to get the judge to sign the papers on Friday, so we were able to pick our daughter up that day. Also, since we got the papers in the morning, we were able to get her passport that afternoon. We could then head back to Moscow. We left for Moscow that Sunday morning. On Monday morning, we went for her medical exam and that afternoon went for our visa interview at the US Embassy. Now we knew everything was done and we could head home.
We weren't scheduled to come home until Thursday, March 27, 2003, but since we had all our paperwork completed, we decided to try to get an earlier flight home. Luckily, we were able to change our tickets, and we came home two days earlier than anticipated, and landed in Chicago's O'Hare Airport on Tuesday, March 25th.
Now we're home and our daughter is doing terrific. She adjusted
right away. She learns new things every day and is a welcome addition to our
whole family. We can't imagine our lives without her.
The FTIA staff we dealt with in Russia was great. Everyone from our drivers to interpreters to cooks took very good care of us. We never felt as if we had to worry about anything, because we knew things were being handled. Language was never a barrier for us, because there was always someone with us.
My advice to adopting parents is to try to be patient. Know that it may take longer than anticipated, but eventually, it will happen. Also, you have to learn to go with the flow. You will get frustrated, and I guarantee something will not go as expected, but just have faith in the process, and don't give up.
Lorraine and Brian
