China
Guatemala
Russia
Vietnam
Brazil
India
Ethiopia
If we could simply transfer to your eyes what we saw! If we could take the visual memories from our brains and magically put them into yours, you could just see the bright, beautiful, longing faces who so desperately need, deserve, and want moms and dads! Then you would understand why Kevin and I make relating our experience with international adoption a very high priority in our lives.
We knew we could never have biological children. An emergency hysterectomy, long before we were married, dictated that. Kevin's answer to this was always, "We'll just adopt!" I told him adoption these days was not that easy, but he was not dissuaded in the least. So at the tender age of 41 (my age), and his age of 31,we were married. That was over six incredibly wonderful, happy years ago now.
Kevin was still in the process of finishing his college degree, so we put off even investigating adoption for four more years. I had some knowledge of the long waits (maybe even as long as seven years) with domestic adoption, but I was also afraid that my age (then 45) would put us even lower on adoption agencies' lists. I was worried that we might not even be considered eligible for a healthy infant. All that, coupled with my fear of a birth mother showing up on my doorstep and asking for her child back, made me very leery of adoption. It was only through a couple of serendipitous events that we became aware of international adoption. Thank God for those events, because without them we might not have two of the most beautiful, bright, and healthy 2 year olds you will ever see!
Christian and Natalie! The loves of our lives! I can't imagine life without them!
Once we became aware of international adoption, we started the process of finding an agency. Families Thru International Adoption was, by far, the most informative and helpful during the initial phone contact of all the agencies we spoke with. After further investigation, we confidently selected FTIA as our agency and thank goodness we did! We were 100% satisfied with the help, service, and deep regard for our needs we received from them!
Then it was time to decide which country we wanted to submit our dossier to. It was somewhat decided for us, since we fell out of China's guidelines to adopt an infant. (I didn't want Kevin to miss out on dirty diapers!)
So Russia it was!
I have to admit, when we first received the Adoption Guide for Russia from FTIA, it was somewhat daunting. The paperwork which had to be put together seemed HUGE! But we decided to break it down into a few tasks at a time, kept chipping away at it, and five months later, we submitted our completed paperwork to Sue at FTIA.
One month later, we received a video tape of 11 month old Anton (who would eventually become our son, Christian) and fell instantly in love!
We had permission from all authorities involved to adopt 2 children. We did not want to break up a sibling group if there should be two related children available. Anton did not have siblings, so the search began for a second, unrelated child.
Patience, patience, patience. There was a little one year old girl, soon to be released by the Central Data Bank, whose video tape was so charming, all who saw it were instantly in love, including us! Irina would eventually become our daughter, Natalie.
Great! Two beautiful children, a baby boy and a baby girl, who were two weeks apart in age! TWINS (for all intents and purposes)! We could handle it!
Russian and American people share one major thing in common! Neither of our governments seem to hurry, or have any sense of urgency, when we think they should! (Our case in point: the U.S. Immigration and Naturalization Service.) As hard as FTIA tried to get us an immediate court date, the Russian government always seemed to have a reason why we must wait to travel! There was a slim, but possible chance to leave for Russia in April, but no one was surprised when that didn't happen. May was a sure bet! No, it would now be June, because a key Russian official was on vacation the entire month of May. June! No! The necessary paperwork in Russia could not be completed in time for the once a month court date! July! Finally, a court date for July 30, 1998! We are on our way!
We left for Vladivostok, Russia on Friday, July 24, 1998. The first time we saw Anton and Irina was on my 47th birthday! What a birthday present! We visited each of them a total of two times before our Thursday court date.
The people of Vladivostok were wonderful! They were friendly and warm and thought we were heroes for coming to Russia to adopt the poor, sickly children that lived in the big house without parents. Unbeknownst to them, our reasons were that we selfishly wanted to complete our family and to raise their children as our own. The court appearance went smoothly, and the lady judge who would decide whether these two beautiful children would be ours had the kindest of eyes. You can't imagine what it felt like for her to say (translated of course), "The adoptions of Anton and Irina by this couple are approved."
There were a couple of very minor hitches, but FTIA was right there, on the phone, managing away the bumps. We never felt at risk of being taken for money or blackmailed or any of the other nightmares you occasionally hear about. Feeling secure was a big deal to us and FTIA provided us with the feeling of security we wanted! We spent the next week waiting for Christian and Natalie's passports, and once they were in hand, we were headed home! They were both 16 months old. What a feeling!
And how are they doing one year later? AWESOME! Their health is superior! Christian was healthy when we got him. Natalie was very anemic from poor nutrition. Good vitamins put her in the pink of health, too! Developmentally, both are ahead in their motor skills. Natalie is ahead in speech development, but Christian still has some catching up to do. Their speech therapist expects Christian will be on target very soon!
Everyone has their own personal reasons for selecting international adoption over domestic adoption. Ours were: (1) the waiting time is tremendously less! We had Christian and Natalie in our arms 11 months after we started our paperwork (we have seen a couple accomplish it in 5 months!), (2) we don't have to worry (although it is rare) about a birth mother wanting her child back, (3) the total cost is about the same for a private domestic adoption versus an international adoption, and (4) we felt my age would preclude us from getting a healthy infant in this country.
But another reason EVERYONE should consider is the tremendous need for these beautiful, wonderful, mostly healthy children to find good homes. Their futures in their birth country are, in the words of the Russians themselves, very bleak. It is unlikely they will be adopted by Russian families! They can barely feed themselves. It is unlikely they will ever have enough food to eat! The orphanages receive no government help at all. It is unlikely they will be educated beyond the bare minimum! They are second class citizens. It is very likely they will never reach their full potential.
We have seen them! There are hundreds and thousands of children equally as wonderful as Christian and Natalie! They need food and clothes, but mostly they need parents to love them. Once you have seen their faces, you cannot forget.
I can promise you one thing. As a parent, you will love an adopted child with the same intensity as you would a biological child. I speak from experience on this, since I also have an 18 year old biological son. If you are at all interested, please call someone.
If you want to complete your lives and your families, please call someone. If you want a child to love, please call someone.
JUST PLEASE CALL!
Kevin & Susy
Indiana
812-923-5553
