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"Aren't
they just incredible." "It's like they have always been here."
These are quotations by my friends Deb and Denise as they speak of our beautiful
Chinese daughters. I never felt the words until I had Daisy.
I understood the words, but now I know the feeling and emotion that go along with them.
I am a single mom. I always knew I wanted to have children. I was never keen on being pregnant, so adoption was always on my mind. I got busy with life and turned 39 only to realize I had missed my deadline to adopt at age 35. I was now on a mission, I wanted to be a mom before I turned forty. There were several reasons that I chose China. I looked at the community that I live in and how a mixed race family would fit in. I compared the cost involved... When I called FTIA for information and received the China Adoption Guide with the "red couch" photos, I knew China was the place.
I got Daisy's referral on my 40th birthday. Beth was kind enough to enlarge and fax her photo. What a great present. It was 9 weeks before we got to travel—the longest 9 weeks of my life. It was most fortunate that it fell around the holiday season as that helped to occupy my mind.
The trip to China was fantastic—though very cold! January is not the best time to travel in the Northern hemisphere. My mother traveled with me. She was to be the pack mule, while I took care of the baby. Well, Mom twisted her knee on our first day in China while we were at the Great Wall. Needless to say I lost my pack mule. Mom spent the rest of the trip in a wheel chair. She carried Daisy and I pushed them both. Vivian, our Chinese coordinator, arranged a wheel chair everywhere we went. Mom started to enjoy all the attention that the Chinese people showed her—she was very pampered and cared for.
Daisy is the most fantastic little person. When I got her picture people were already saying that we looked alike. Prior to my arrival in China, I sent her a blanket and an audio tape of bedtime stories I had recorded with help from her cousins, Kate and Keith. When I was handed Daisy she just looked at my face, and I am sure that she recognized my voice. She never looked back for her care givers or cried. Her affect was flat as are many of the babies'. One would not recognize her now as the same little girl. Daisy could not sit or turn over when I got her, she was about 10½months old. By the end of the trip she could sit and roll over. Three weeks after I got her, she said "Mom" for the first time. She has continued to make great strides. It has been so fun to see her explode with the development that most babies do over months, in weeks. I got to experience all those "firsts", in condensed form. A little time and love were all that were needed. Everyday is a joy! The First Steps program has been a tremendous help to us. She has wonderful therapists (playmates) who are helping her to develop all those little things she has missed.
If you are considering adopting I would suggest you talk with everyone possible, surf the net, and attend a support group meeting, like FCC (Families with Children from China). FCC was the best resource I found. We now have lots of wonderful friends and have had lots of great times together. Every day is some new happening, some new sound, new face... So now I say "she is just fantastic, it's like she has always been here."
Jill
