China
Guatemala
Russia
Vietnam
Brazil
India
EthiopiaI was raised in a family of 5 kids, and made really good money growing up babysitting, knowing from early on that I was “practicing” for my own family. Because, for as long as I can remember, all I ever wanted to be was a Mom! I just assumed that after high school or college I would marry and start a family. When, for whatever reason, my “Prince Charming” didn’t show, or actually just hadn’t shown yet, the years raced by.
At about the age of 36 it hit hard that I was missing it. Missing my dream of being a Mom. I hadn’t (and haven’t) given up hope of a good man to come into my life, but I knew I wanted to be young enough to enjoy Motherhood too! This was a very difficult and unsettled time in my life. I felt the tug to have a child, and would go from angry at God for not answering my prayers, to depressed and angry at myself for not “being able” to find a husband. I decided it was time to give up the dream, or be miserable for the rest of my life. It was then, when I let go, that God was able to take over……
It was 4th of July in 2000, and I decided to meet my parents in Indianapolis where they were going to attend a symphony concert and fireworks in the park with my aunts/uncles and some cousins. It felt like 100 degrees, but I don’t remember being miserable, only the incredible conversation. My cousin Valerie was extremely pregnant at the time, and I’m sure miserable, but she started talking about a friend of hers who had recently adopted a child from China, as a single Mom!!!! We talked about them quite a bit, then that was all I could think about for months. Time moved on, and I changed jobs moving from the hospital environment to a traveling position as a Case Manager, allowing much more flexibility, and most importantly, my weekends and holidays off! It was in the Spring of ’01 that I just couldn’t get Valerie’s friend out of my head, and decided to get some more information. I had remembered a booth about adoption being set up in my church at Christian Fellowship Church a while back. The next Sunday I asked my friend Phyllis Stuckey, who worked for the church, if she knew of the organization. She did, but said she had someone else she wanted me to meet too. It was that day she introduced me to Keith Wallace. He only had a few minutes to talk, but what I heard most of all was that he ran an adoption agency specializing in foreign adoption!!! I felt like God had been working in this whole process and leading me to just the right people at the just the right time….from my cousin Valerie, and now months later to Keith! I couldn’t stop thinking about it, and kept playing the scenarios in my head. Would everyone think I’m crazy? Finally, on one of my work road trips, I just blurted it out to my Mom, who used to ride along to keep me company. I just said “I’m going to adopt a baby from China”. Not “do you think I should adopt?”, but just like that, it was a done deal in my mind. And to my relief and amazement, my Mom was thrilled.
The next day I pulled into Reis Tire in Evansville for an appointment, but was about 15 minutes early. Without even thinking I pulled out my phone and called Families Thru International Adoption (FTIA), and surprisingly enough actually got put thru to Keith Wallace. We talked for a bit, and he offered to send a packet to review. And that was it. I felt God’s blessing, had my Mom’s blessing, my family was so supportive and excited, and I was off to become a Mom. Since I had such a flexible work schedule, and often made trips to Indy and Louisville for appointments, completing the paper trail was a breeze. Six weeks later it was done, and I was waiting for the paperwork to come back from the Chinese Consulate in Chicago so I could send it on its way to China for the final step!
It was at this time that I changed jobs again, taking a position at ICM in Evansville. However, the training was to take place at their home office for a week in Lafayette, Indiana. Before starting at ICM, my cousin Gayle and I (Valerie’s sis) took a trip overseas for vacation, and the day after our return I started training up in Lafayette, Indiana on a Monday. It was that Monday that my paperwork returned from Chicago! When Mom and Dad called me at the hotel to let me know, I was devastated….that I was out of town and it would be a whole 7 days before I could get the packet in the mail to China. So, being the incredible parents that they are, my Mom and Dad got in the car and drove to Lafayette so I could make all the copies of the paperwork, sign the forms, and prepare the packet for China. They stayed with me at the hotel for two days while I completed this so they could then hand deliver the package back to FTIA to send to China. That was it, my “dossier” was on its way, my “log in” date was June 15th 2001 (Hannah wasn’t even born yet), and there was no turning back.
Fast forward to August 2002. After 14 agonizing months of waiting, I finally got “the call”. It came to my office at ICM, and the receptionist actually screamed all thru the office “it’s the call, it’s the call”, and all 10 nurses crammed into my office to share the experience with me. It was Katie from FTIA, and those first three words “You’re a Mom”, just stopped my heart. I had never heard, and have never heard since, a sweeter sound! There was a second of disappointment that Chu Ben Yi, soon to be Hannah Michele, was already 1 year old, then such sadness when I realized I had just missed her birthday by 4 days, then just pure joy and excitement that she was mine! There happened to be a vendor in the office when all of this happened, and about 2 hours later a huge flower and balloon arrangement came for me at the office from him with “Congratulations on the new baby”, and I just melted (again). For 14 months my Mom and Dad and I had had a plan of action ready for when the call came……I was going to leave work immediately, and meet them at FTIA to pick up the portfolio and pictures. However, because we were such a huge travel group (32 families), FTIA had not finished putting the portfolios together. So instead of going that day on Thursday, I had to wait until Monday. That was the longest weekend of my life! Finally on Monday it was time to see my girl, and she was beautiful! My Dad offered to pay for reprints of the three little pictures I was given, so the whole family could have some. Little did he know I was going to print $70 worth…but he never said a word. So there it was, my life had changed forever.
The next 7 weeks were agonizing, but we finally stepped onto the plane October 17, 2002, my Mom and I. After three long days in Beijing, we finally flew to Hefei China on 10/20, and at 9am on 10/21 the ceremony began, and they finally placed my little miracle in my arms. She was screaming, we were all crying…it was beautiful. After 10 days in Chinese hotels together we were all pretty bonded, and finally returned to America, with our newest little American! I wanted to kiss the ground, but couldn’t quit kissing my little Hannah!
And, as they say, the rest is history. I was a Mom, a “single Mom”, and it was and is the greatest blessing ever. Has it been easy? No! Many trials and tragedies along the way, including the loss of my hero….my Dad and Hannah’s beloved “Ba Ah” (caregiver)……but we have made it thru as a family, and will continue to do so.
I’ve said all of this to say one thing……. Many hear the term “single Mom”, and have feelings of sympathy or disdain, or those moms feel disadvantaged. But, whether you are single by choice, by tragedy, or by heartache, don’t let that steal the joy of just being a Mom…no matter how you came to that place. It’s the greatest blessing on earth for those that desire it. I know God’s perfect plan is for a Mother and Father to raise their children together, but when that isn’t part of your experience, God can be there to stand in the gap, and bring others into your life to stand in that gap as well!
God Bless you!
